Open Letter to HRD minister Shrimati Smriti Irani:

Courtesy: India TV

Disclaimer: This letter is just a light-hearted pun intended for a leftist who thinks my country will be better placed if he will rule this country which I call my home. He wants theatrics to be a major course during the sessions of Rajya Sabha so that people watching Rajya Sabha live channel don't feel bored and can get something extra apart from budget release. I disregard such people and all the activities which are happening in my homeland and I will not tolerate such indecency and intolerance in the country that is known for its patience, virtue and tolerance.

Respected Madam,

Let me begin by congratulating you on mixing melodrama, theatrics and Hindu mythology on a bigger school of acting, we lovingly call Rajya Sabha. Your performance made me realize that an acting career before jumping in politics always help as you have become a very good orator and bring out a perfect script which is full of emotions and words that only Mirza Ghalib can bring on a stage, so grand like this.

I have also studied the beautiful monologue written by Shakespeare-“All the world’s a stage” and you proved it correct and people who don’t understand orthodox classical English can now understand under the practical knowledge you departed standing yesterday and letting the world know your true potential, knowledge and yes your enthusiasm towards words.

I was also moved by your emotions when you talked about the death of a “bachha” in Hyderabad. Your trembling voice actually made me believe that your tears will actually solve the issue that people of Delhi were facing a day back when the reservation row forced the pitiable Jats to stop the free flowing water to enter the taps on Delhiites. But you didn’t cry Madam, why madam why?

I also liked your neck on the sword cue marked for our beloved Behenji-“Agar mere uttar se aap santusht na ho to main apna sar kalam karke aapke charnoon main chhod doongi." (If you are not satisfied with my reply, I will cut off my head and place it at your feet).

I respectfully advise not to take such dialogues to the door of Bachha’s mother else the consequences can be dire and we don’t want to lose the HRD minister who likes gifting IIMs and IITs at her will.

Even I am a Durga worshipper, but that’s not how we appease god by bringing JNU authenticated pamphlets to the parliament and reading them aloud. If you have authenticated papers, then what is the role of Arnab Goswami at news@9, who likes making fun of people like us, who don’t have any other work to halt parliament operations and work with you closely in understanding acting skills and cue management?

Please don’t forget that Uttar Pradesh election is on the horizon and I want all the Dalits’ votes, as I have stopped going to their home and talk about the dreams which I saw in the morning of the night. I will complain my mother about it and then she will make you realise that she is the daughter in law of my grandmother.

You have spoken so much in the parliament that I am confused about the things I should put in this letter, also please see my iphone is not charged so that I can copy someone’s open letter and paste here (Yes, I admit, above words are written by my mom). I want to make a plea here stop playing with Indian politics like this as I don’t understand much of it. Issues like JNU, reservation, Durga Puja, Mahishasur Martyrdom day, Ronith’s death is required to make this country world number one economy and number one business friendly country, not initiatives what Modi Ji has started and wishes to start.

Yours beloved,

Pappu

PS: Attached my resume for any job in BJP